Sayonara
by Freefan1412
Summary: The time of choices and cross-ways has long passed. But there was always something left to be done. Even if it were only words.


Warnings: possible spoiler alert.

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Sayonara

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Rays of the morning sun penetrated cheap white curtains, bathing a small simple room in dimmed white as a stray ray fell upon a peacefully sleeping form on a bed.

Slivery grey eyes cracked tiredly open, only to shy away from the brightness and close again, an arm moving sluggishly to cover the closed eyes, to dim the blinding redness of sunlight cutting through the eyelids to a pleasant dark warmth. Comfortable again, the person dozed off, enjoying a quiet and comfortable rest as the street below the window slowly filled with people going about their business and chattering loudly.

Minutes, maybe hours passed until the figure on the bed stirred again.

The sun had passed forward, changing the angle of light, bothering the shabby room's occupant anew. A black appendage moved, adjusting unconsciously to it, but this time the person was ready to awake and sat up slowly, blinking and groggily taking in his surroundings; uncomprehending.

Quickly a startled look passed over his young features and, looking down down at the hands in his lap, he clenched them to fists as triumphant smirk lifted his lips for a few seconds before it changed to a small smile with many hidden emotions, but that expression passed as well and the young man, teen, stood up, taking slow deliberate steps at first, then, as the last bit of doubt ceased from his mind, he almost stumbled over his own feet in hurry to reach the mirror hanging in the bathroom.

Grey eyes with a red, pentacle shaped scar over his left eye stared right back from under snow white streaks of hair. Again the teen smirked and again it changed. Into a sad smile this time, as he lifted his right, human hand to reach up to his own cheek, touching his face and gliding a finger along the edges of the rough scar, tracing it down to his chin.

The movements were easy, light, with no resistance or pain involved, which was a first since many years.

The hand fell down, coming to rest on the sink as he stood and simply stared at the face looking back at him for a long time, and with each minute that passed the teen pictured the mirrored person more and more to be free of scars, with long brown hair instead of white, short strands, with a more defined jawline, free of all baby fat and a softer look in his eyes.

A lump formed in the teen's throat, his eyes started stinging as he recognized all similarities so carefully hidden by a drastically changed appearance, yet undeniably present.

He didn't notice his eyes falling shut, unable to look at his own face any longer in fear of his resolve sustaining scratches when confronted with one of his heaviest sinns, but he allowed himself a moment to recollect his thoughts, then, turning on his heels, he stalked back into the bedroom with hard, unreadable eyes and purpose in his movements. Absorbing what personal belongings remained in the room and mentally calculating what he needed of those and what he could afford to leave behind he started planning.

"It couldn't have been helped," he mumbled, packing a few spare clothes scattered throughout the room in a simple leathern suitcase.

Consumed by his own thoughts the young man didn't notice a fist sized golden ball with wings and a tail flutter down from a nearby closet or see it land on a chair's back near him or watch it open its mouth, revealing numerous sharp little teeth.

"You know, Neah, I don't regret it." At the sound of a voice the teen whirled around, a hidden knife in hand and face set in a snister scowl until his eyes fell on the record his little golem companion projected.

Face paling and muscles in his jaw clenched, he looked at a projected mirror image of himself, an image that was looking to the side, to something outside of the camera's view, perhaps out of a window, with a lost and nostalgic expression in his eyes and the very same sad smile the watching teen had shown just a few moments ago in front of the bathroom mirror.

"With all my memories returned, that's what I think," the image continued, turning his grey eyes so full of emotions directly at the observer, piercing through him with no effort at all and making his very soul shudder, "I don't regret anything."

"Not my offer, choice and promise I gave when you were lying in that alley, dirty, bloody, hurt, tired and _dying, _but also not my choice to walk the path of an Exorcist; to protect humans and save Akumas." The recorded image grinned weakly.  
"You'll probably laugh at me for this, but to me Akumas' existences are too pitiful for this world and the souls suffering don't deserve their fate. If I brought salvation even to a single one, then walking that path had been worth it, I think."

"And humans on the other hand are living in ignorance and are, by circumstances, too overwhelmed by their own feelings to comprehend somebody else, but they aren't evil or all the same and some have become really important to me."

"They all deserved saving. I just wanted to protect." The recorded image shrugged helplessly."Sorry, if that gives you problems in the future."

The transparent boy paused, then, after a while, looking just as resolute as he had all those years ago, he continued and the addressed teen was unable to turn his eyes away from that one look or even blink in fear of missing the smallest detail. Even though his head was overloading with memories of dead dreams, empty promises and a spark of hope of times long past.

"Even looking back to that day now, I definitely would make the same choice again, _no matter what." _Back then, too, he had spoken with the same voice, the same determination; _I will protect your memories from the others. _"I could never regret it and I don't want you to either, Neah." The observer swallowed hard.

"You are my friend and you always will be whether you want to or not. Neither death nor this kind of fading will ever be able to change that. You know that, right?" The recorded voice was becoming soft, so close to breaking, and the boy watching bit his lip until he tased blood.

"I'm not sure what or how you think at this point, but I also want you to know that I don't resent you for what has happened in my life at all, so please don't blame yourself for it either. We both were aware from the very beginning that this was not going to be easy. It's just sad that I can't talk to you and tell you all this personally, really. I would have liked to speak with you one last time." The memorized teen paused, looking out a window again, his face shadowed by grief and sadness and tears running down his cheeks freely. "But because it won't happen I asked Tim to show this to you when I'm gone."

A long pause in which the boy in the memory tried fruitlessly to dry his tears. But they just kept flowing. When the memory continued his voice cracked with every word he spoke.

"What happened to my body wasn't all bad either, I think. Because even though I forgot about you, no one, not even Cross, had been able connect the Me of 35 years ago to Allen the Exorcist."

"And I met Mana." The image gave a fond, tear streaked smile. "He practically raised me. If you ask Tim he might be able to show you."

"And I had friends. Friends I wouldn't have met had I aged differently. They were good friends, you know." Silence fell into the room as the recorded boy kept still, eyes closed and his face pulled into a painful grimace, his lips quivering, tears dropping.

"I know it isn't my fault," the boy's voice was a broken whisper, but now a note of desperation and guilt and _so _much pain overshadowed everything else. "There is and has never been a thing that I could have done about it, but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that with Mana, me and Master dead and with James having turned traitor you will be all alone. And I'm sorry that I couldn't hide you better from both the Order and the Noah and that I stp here and that I can't help you anymore; against the Order or the Earl.

"And for the insults I have thrown at you lately too, I guess." The watching boy didn't twitch at the poor attempt at humor.

"You will be alone Neah."

"I'm so sorry, but I want you to know something, and don't you dare forget it, you hear me?  
I will always trust you, always believe in you, I will never regret leaving the world I your hands. Never. You can do this, Neah, and you will do this. Don't give up, don't stop and keep walking."

The last image of Allen faded out of existence as Timcampy closed his mouth, but the teen, Neah, was already no longer watching.

Knife having long since dropped out of his hand, he slumped against a nearby wall, slipped down do the floor and buried his –Allen's- head in his -Allen's- arms. His –Allen's- shoulders started shaking, trembling and it didn't take long for the first tears to run down his –Allen's- cheek.

He clenched his –Allen's- fists until blood dropped to the wooden planks, mixing with salty tears.

When Neah finally looked up again his –Allen's- eyes were red and puffy, but cold steel had consumed any warmth the body's former owner might have left behind.

With a shaky and raw voice Neah vowed. "The Earl will die."

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I don't really know what possesed me to write this. I read chapter 215 one evening, went to bed and the next moring this was swimming around in my head practically all written out already. There was just no way not to publish it.

Well, about this One Shot; I based it of the flics of memories from Neah in chapter 215 and pretty much filled the rest with my own imagination. This won't happen, of course, since Allen won't disappear, but this is a take on how he might would have.

This James that i mentioned does exist in the manga, i just took the liberty of giving him a name. He is one of those who theoretically inerited the 14th will, but he had been too afraid of the Earl and asked the church for protection in exchange for information. This person is mentioned somewhere loosely around the L4 invasion, i think.

If you want I might write a sequel to this. You just have to ask and name the person you want Allen to say goodbye to. Exorcist, Noah or the like are fine. Even if i do write a sequel this story will remain in the complete status, because this story is perfectly finished even without another added chapter.

Please review.


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